a happy time

Lately, I have honestly felt as happy as I have ever been. I feel such a deep gratitude for all that I have. We are in such a perfect phase of life and I know life has its high's and low's and I just want to write this down so that I can cherish and remember the good times whenever it gets rough again. Tyce and Jacey have seriously been a pure delight lately. Jacey doesnt wear diapers anymore which is such a beautiful thing. They both can get there shoes on and walk out and get in the car. I dont have to have a diaper bag or load my purse with stuff before I leave the house bc they dont need anything. I love that it is not a big deal to leave them with someone. They just play so they are not hard and I really don't worry when we leave them with people. They walk right in and play and they are happy to see me when I get back. They have been getting along so well. They play together and they have not been causing me hardly any trouble lately and I have been reveling in this bliss. Usually when Rustin comes home from work, I am a bear because its just a long day of craziness and frustration but lately I feel just as pleasant in the evening as I am in the morning because the kids have been so great. They are so funny and I love being with them and playing with them. I could just eat them up, they have been so cute and say the funniest things. They tell me they love me all the time. I seriously love my kids. I feel so deeply grateful. Jacey told me she couldnt eat her beans at dinner because they were sleeping. Tyce said he loves me out of the whole earth. We played baseball in the house today and it was very funny. I would pitch, Tyce would hit the ball and Jacey would run and get it for us. It worked great. We had family home evening and concluded with ice cream. I love listening to their little prayers before they go to bed. They are such good kids and I feel so privileged to have them.

not to forget

I wanted to write this down before I forget. I went to throw some ads away and tyce asked if he could have them so I gave them to him and he started looking through them. I asked what he was doing and he said, he has to practice being a grown up. It made me laugh.

There were two other things Tyce said today I wanted to write down before I forgot but I have already forgotten - blast.

Today was lovely. We got up and had french toast for breakfas and got ready. I took Tyce to preschool and me and Jacey went to Seagull Book where I bought a beautiful picture for my kitchen. I love love it and am excited to start collecting things to decorate my house. It will be slow going but its still kind of fun. Jacey was being so dang cute today. I just wanted to eat her up. I love spending one on one time with her when Tyce goes to preschool because she is so much fun. I cant get enough of her. I love listening to her sing in the car while we drive and love listening to her pretend and talk. She has the cutest little voice. I love that she cant say her v's. She always pronounces them as b's and tells me she will "neber neber eber eber do it again" and I think its so cute. She calls bows, bones which cracks me up. She gives the tightest squeezes around my neck and plasters my face with her little kisses. She always holds my face and says "I lub you". If I get hurt, she always looks so concerned and "oh I sowy (sorry)" and kisses whatever hurts. She is a little sassy pants but she can be so sweet at times. Anyhow, we picked up Tyce and went to my friend Katie Jane's house for lunch. She picked up Indian food for us which was to die for. It was so great to sit and chat with her. We came home and went out to shovel our driveway which is 14  miles long. People drive past and look at me like I am insane for doing it all by hand but a snow-blower did not make it on the priority list this winter. While we were gone this weekend somebody snow-blowed our drive-way for us which was so so nice. I wish we knew who did it. On Monday when I was out shoveling, some nice man on a tractor stopped and offered to scrape the drive way for me. It was so nice of him because it literally takes me 2 hours. After that, me and kids played in the snow. It was so fun. We dug snow caves and tunnels and sledded on a tiny little hill. It was so fun to frolic in the snow with them. We came in and had pancakes and bacon for dinner. It was an over-all great day with my cute kids. Just perfect :)

Aggie Basketball

Rustin got tickets to the Aggie game the other day. It was so fun to go. 

We went with a couple of our friends. Great game, great company.

a ray of sunshine...

My dearest friend in all the world stopped by this morning for a few minutes on her way home - Cali is such a ray of sunshine in my life. She walked in and looked at me and asked if I had a hang over. It made me laugh. She knew we had been up late driving home in a blizzard and snowy and icy roads. She knew I had been up late cleaning up throw up out of our car. She knew Rustin hasnt been able to sleep either because he cant breath. I love that she can relay all of that in one sentence because she has felt that kind of "hang over" before too. 

She asked if she could take a picture out my back door. This is the picture she took. She said something like, 'Look what you get to wake up to every morning?' and showed me the picture. I was so grateful she saw something so beautiful and captured it for me because I certainly didnt notice the view outside. It had been an off morning. But this picture really made me think of how grateful I am for everything I have and especially for my wonderful friend. She is one of my favorite blessings in my life. 

Last night we came home and roads were awful  It usually takes us 2 hours and 45 minutes to get home and it took over 4 hours last night. We saw so many cars slide off the road. Tyce's asthma flared up and he was coughing his head off. He kind of got into a fit of coughing til he started throwing up. It scared him which makes him even more worked up which makes him cough more and throw up more and we couldnt get him to calm down. It was so sad.  But we did finally make it home and got everything cleaned up and I am so grateful to have made it safely.

It has been kind of a wild week. I was suppose to go to Layton on Friday to join my sisters for lunch and shopping as we had planned to have a sweet 16 date for my niece Kristen who turned 16 and we wanted to take her out. But Thursday night our car died so I didnt have a vehicle. The day before that we almost died of carbon monoxide and now need to reconstruct our water heater, the garage door broke the day before that, Rustin was in a car accident (which he wasnt hurt thank goodness) and he also has bronchitis. We did go visit our families in Sanpete this weekend though which was nice. Rustin went ice fishing with his Dad and I visited with my family and Rustin's family. My parents took my siblings and their spouses out to dinner Saturday night which was really fun to get together like that.

Sorry, I feel like I am just rambling but by way of a journal entry this is the happenings. It seems like lately I have heard about so many tragedies lately. A young father dying, leaving his 3 children and wife, a 6 year old dying in a sledding accident, another man dying, leaving his wife who is pregnant with twins and they were just building a home, people having all sorts of horrible cancer's.... I have heard of lots of these kinds of things and I am just so grateful that my problems are small, just water heaters, vehicles, bronchitis, garage doors. I am so grateful for my little troubles and for all the blessings I see everyday.

the sun came out today...

The sun came out today, literally and figuratively. It was been a very long miserable week.

 Tyce got sick about 10 days ago with a nasty cold and cough. Last Tuesday Jacey started a really high fever that would get so bad at night and during the day she would mope and cry. I did really well the first 3 days. On day 4 I wanted to slit my wrists a little bit but fortunately my sister Maggon came to visit and she was my saving grace. On day 5 my sympathy and patience expired and then I just switched to survival mode. I guess its the difference between enduring and enduring well. The first few days I endured well......the last few was just enduring. I felt bad because by the time it hit Rustin, I had no sympathy or compassion left. 

Yesterday Jacey was the worst. Her eyes have been at half mast and she looked like the saddest most pathetic little puppy you have ever seen. She wouldnt get off the couch all morning. I had to carry her to the bathroom, hold her on the toilet, and carry her back to the couch.

She would sleep in my arms which never happens and she would doze all day. It was aweful. 

I made an appointment to see the dr this morning. At the 3:30 this morning she came up the stairs crying and burning up again. This morning when she woke up, she was right as rain. Her eyes were open and cheerful. She was laughing and giggling and playing. Seriously? I swear that always happens when I finally give in and make a dr appt. But I am so glad the sun came up and shined on us today. I am so grateful to have my little Jacey back.

a little attached....

Tyce and Jacey have become insanely attached to each other lately. It is so funny. I put them in the same room last May because the house we were renting was 90 bajillion degrees upstairs where their rooms were in the summer and there was only one swamp cooler so I had to put them together but I couldnt put them in separate rooms now even if I wanted to. It was the start of a serious attachment. 

It is understandable since everything they do, they do together but lately they have been wanting to sleep in the same bed. They cry if they dont ride in the car together. They have started to gang up on me. If I get mad at Jacey, Tyce comes rushing over to hug her and make sure she is ok and Jacey will do the same for him.

Jacey always pouts when she doesnt get what she wants and says, "I want my brother!" and Tyce will say "Its ok Jac, your brother is here. Do you want your brother? Do you love your big brother?"

They think the other one is so dang funny......to the point of obnoxiousness really.

Tyce has started picking her up from nursery and they just seem so delighted to see each other, like they have been apart for days.

I cant imagine only having one child. What a great injustice that would be. Everyone deserves to have a sibling - it is the cutest thing to hear them giggle together.

They play together for sure, but on a rare occasion, they even work together, which melts my heart even more.

Tyce has really taken it upon himself to be a good big brother and a good example for Jacey. He helps where ever he can and just loves feeling needed. Sometimes out of the blue Jacey will run up to Tyce, wrap her arms around him and try to kiss his cheek and they both fall on the floor laughing. They wrestle, Jacey rides on his back like a horse, they tell stories, and yes of course they fight too.

One of the cutest things is Tyce has been telling her stories before she goes down for a nap. I have sat outside the door and listened (bc they wont let me be in the room) and it is the cutest thing. Tyce has also loved helping Jacey say her prayers. He tells her what to say and is just so proud when she says everything he tells her to.

I find them with their arms around each other pretty often and every time I am just so grateful they have each other.

quiet in the snow...

If I was my friend Cali, I would have some breathtaking picture of the snow and the moon to illustrate this post, but alas, not so talented. But here are my un-illustrated thoughts anyway :) It has been a long couple of days. Jacey has had a fever, Tyce has had a nasty cold which makes his asthma flare up and he coughs his bloody head off all day and all night. Its blasted cold outside and we havent stepped a toenail outside in 2 days. If I was the old Brittany, I would be throwing an all out fit, one that could rival Jacey's. I would be feeling so sorry for myself, having to stay home, cooped up in a house. I would feel claustrophobic and suffocated. But I read and studied a talk by Elder Bednar awhile ago called "In the Strength of the Lord" which has changed my life. I know he has given this talk and many like it several times, but it is has the most powerful message I have ever read or felt. This talk has changed me. It has changed the way I pray, the way I read scriptures, and the way I think and feel towards myself and people. I have felt so much help and power beyond my own. In moments of frustration, I have found myself speaking softer. In moments of anger, I have felt an added measure of patience. In moments of self-pity, I have found myself thinking of others. I have discovered there is so much power available to us, if we will ask. I am still the same me, self-absorbed and prideful, but I am filled with hope and I believe in the promise that my very nature can change because I have felt it in so many small ways.

Last night, after dinner, I knew I needed to get out of the house. Rustin was kind and stayed and played with the kids while I tried to find some snow to shovel. It was so cold but I was well dressed and the fresh air was like magic for my brain. After I shoveled the sidewalk several times which barely had any snow anyway, I walked through our back yard and walked as far as I could into the open fields behind our house. This was such a huge selling feature for me when we looked at this house. It has fields all the way to Hyrum. I walked until I could barely hear the cars passing and laid down in the snow. It felt so good to feel the quiet in the snow and stare at the sky. Although I loathed going out in the cold to feed cows in the winter when I was growing up at home, I do miss the time I spent in the quiet outside. I dont do that much anymore but it is so therapeutic whenever I get the chance.  It feels so good to look at the sky and feel close to a loving Heavenly Father, who created it for me. I felt so full of gratitude as I laid there in the stillness. So grateful for my beautiful children, a good husband who takes care of me, and a beautiful home with all the luxuries and comforts I could ever want. So even when the days are long and hard, as are many when your a stay at home mom, I can feel myself changing and I am so very grateful.